Forgiveness. What it is and what it isn't.

11/09/2010 10:48

Throughout life, sometimes people treat us in a way that causes us pain. It doesn't matter if the pain is intentional or unintentional it still leaves a mark on our emotions. Most people don't try to hurt others, usually the one that hurts is experiencing their own difficulties handling life.

When we get hurt we can get angry at the person that hurt us and angry at ourselves for allowing it to happen. We can begin imagining revenge scenarios and wanting the worst to happen to that individual. In reality this sort of thinking is toxic to the system. It doesn't move us forward in life to where we want to be. It keeps us stuck. Even if the person is long gone these feelings can still emotionally tether us to them.

One of the most healing and cathartic processes for releasing the past can be forgiveness. And yes, Love. Love and forgiveness allow you to rise above what happened and take back control of your life, and yourself. Forgiveness is not forgetting. We learn from every experience that we have. Through integrating what you learned from your experience with this person and situation you become better equipped to handle life in the future.

Furthermore forgiveness is not agreeing with what happened. It is not justifying the behaviour of the person. Instead it is saying, "I choose to let this go so I can move forward in life."

And lastly the person that benefits the most from forgiveness is not the person that hurt you, but rather yourself. It is only through the forgiveness of others can we truly release the past and move forward to a brighter future.

If you need help in learning to forgive others, I have recorded a hypnosis MP3 program entitled, Forgiveness-releasing the anger and resentment of the past. It is the same forgiveness process I use with clients.

You can listen to a sample and download it here